Captain Obvious Strikes Again Captain Obvious Meme
- You may exist looking for John Madden and not even know it!
| Captain Obvious | |
 | |
| Date of nativity | Unknown |
| Marital Condition | Divorced |
| Domicile | Earth. Obviously. |
| Occupation | Superhero, duh |
| Powers | Unknown |
| Weakness | Thai food |
| Also Known As | John Madden |
"This is an article most me, Captain Obvious."
"Give thanks you lot, Captain Obvious."
Helm Obvious is a superhero — one of the people who fight bad guys, supervillains, and assorted evil-doers. The prefix "Captain", however, is purely symbolic. Although the "Obvious" part of Captain Obvious'southward proper name is certainly true, Helm Obvious does not hold the rank of Captain in the Army, Navy, Air Forcefulness, Coast Guard, Marines, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration Commissioned Corps, the The states Public Wellness Service Commissioned Corps, the Salvation Army or any Constabulary or Burn down Department. Nor is he licensed to fly commercial or cargo aircraft or pilot line-fishing boats or cargo vessels, significant that in a situation where he would have to airplane pilot one of these vehicles and is asked past a duly authorized official to prove that he had the legal right to do so, he would not be able to.
Helm Obvious'southward symbol is a big "O". This is the circular image on his helmet, identical to the letter used elsewhere; however, its use in such instances does not necessarily pertain to Captain Obvious. The "O" stands for "Obvious", rather than "Oklahoma", "Oregon", "Osama bin Laden", "Orange", "Oprah", "Obama" or any of the other half dozen words that begin with an "O". He sometimes carries a large shield with him, though this is primarily to stop his own team mates from beating the living daylights out of him. His main rival is the dastardly Professor Subtle, confronting whom he battles in many comic book and television episodes, but Professor Subtle never fails to reappear in subsequent episodes. This could exist because Helm Obvious has failed to apprehend or destroy Professor Subtle in any way, or considering, as Captain Obvious has pointed out on several occasions, "It'due south all retcon's error!".
History
Note that this is not i of Captain Obvious'southward statements. He readily addresses that fact that he is rarely "to the rescue".
He first rose through the ranks of the Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters to join the X-Men. His actual superpowers are known by very few. Some speculate that it has something to do with levitation, super intelligence, or raising the dead. Whatever information technology was, about people forget that he has any superpowers, and eventually the name 'Captain Obvious' caught on.
He was first brought into the X-Men for his intelligence and vocalness, which chop-chop drove the group mad. He managed to demonstrate a moderate caste of usefulness when he was able to annoy and distract an evil-doer (a time-traveling evil mutant clone of the Silver Surfer) with his obvious statements, which gave the X-Men time to infiltrate the villain's lair. However, he earned few points with them for this performance because the Ten-Men were simply infiltrating to rescue Captain Obvious. He was after expelled from the X-Men due to his numerous bouts of obviousness. The final harbinger came when Magneto broke into the X-Men's headquarters after Captain Obvious hid the primal under a doormat, making off with Professor Ten's CD collection and the squad'south Ten-box.
His expulsion may also have been related to the non-professional nature of his relationship with his sidekick, Readily Apparent Male child. Although group members did not disapprove of such relationships (the J.L.A. readily tolerated a clandestine relationship between a certain bat-themed hero and his sidekick), the indiscreet nature of the relationship - including flirting in public and spats in crowded restaurants - drew unwanted attending to the Justice League. "I mean, it really wouldn't accept been a problem," said Superman in an interview, "If they didn't take to brand it but so freakin'... ya know... obvious."
Secret identity
Helm Obvious may too be an alias of Banksy.
Though Captain Obvious vehemently denies this (over and over), some suggest that Captain Obvious and Mr. Obvious are the same person. Those people note that, whenever Captain Obvious leaps into action, information technology'south always right afterwards Mr. Obvious conspicuously leaves, loudly saying, "I'm leaving now, but not to do anything interesting! I'grand certainly not switching to my superhero identity, which of form, I do not have, every bit about people do not!"
These conspiracy basics, still, are always disproved instantly. The fact that Helm Obvious has stated on many occasions that he is probably not Mr. Obvious (nudge nudge wink wink), or that it would simply be way likewise obvious, are unremarkably accepted every bit proof.
Captain Obvious is too non to be confused with Captain Oblivious. That'southward his twin brother.
Helm Obvious and Pop Civilisation
One of the many road signs made by Captain Obvious.
Helm Obvious strikes again, this time letting a true cat know that information technology is a cat.
"You lot are hanging onto a ledge. And y'all're at take a chance of falling to your death."
His obviousness sometimes causes him to lose focus.
Captain Obvious in his military uniform.
This inability of Captain Obvious to stick with any particular group has also hurt his cultural continuing. An unabridged thirty minutes were cutting from the first Ten-Men film to eliminate his role, due to the sheer 'predictability' of the character. He appeared once on The O'Reilly Gene in a historic advent that lasted all of ten seconds when he blurted out that "Expect a infinitesimal, this show isn't fair and counterbalanced at all."
His comic book line sold out its starting time three issues, only sales quickly plummeted due to what readers complained was 'predictable writing.' These days he fills in minor roles, usually uttering phrases such as "That asteroid is heading straight toward us!" or "If we don't defuse this hydrogen bomb, the whole metropolis will be destroyed!" His 900 folio autobiography was also panned. In the book, titled 'This is a volume about me, Captain Obvious', he admits what was already believed by many to exist his greatest weakness.
"I remember my abiding exclusion may have something to practice with how I always say the obvious."
His autobiography had the following capacity.
- The Kickoff Couple Pages.
- My Nascency. How Two Opposite Gender Adults Make Me.
- My Body, and Its Many Features (Included peculiarly detailed sections and diagrams on what his integral organs. exercise, such as: his heart, his arms, and his penis.)
- Growing Upwards. The Tough Obstacles I Endured Like Learning to Walk and Eat.
- Yes, I've Really Been Alive These Past Forty Years.
- Puberty, A Fourth dimension of Change In My Life.
- That Time I Wrote an Autobiography, and the Kind of Stuff That Went Into Information technology.
- Yes, I Am Probably Going to Dice Anytime...
- This is The Last Affiliate.
He has also starred in the post-obit movies:
- Captain Obvious saves Labor Solar day
- Captain Obvious and the Terrorist
- Helm Obvious kills Kwanzaa
- Captain Obvious and "The Talk"
Fortune Teller?
Helm Obvious has also tried predicting the future. Here are a few examples of his predictions.
"People all over the world will take to purchase a new calendar within the adjacent twelve months."
"Inside two to three years the price of stamps volition increase past an amount."
"Someone volition die today."
"Someone will be born today."
"Y'all will eat nutrient within the adjacent thirty days."
"Tomorrow will exist some other day."
"The hereafter is coming."
"Someone will breathe today."
"Within two... no, iii..., no wait, ay years, there will be a yr that is divisible by ii."
"Indeed, electric current events may go past events, merely ever remember that there volition, now and always, exist future events in the future."
"In two years fourth dimension, information technology will exist two years in the futurity."
"I'm non a doctor, but if you don't accept your heart put dorsum in your chest, you may dice presently."
"At the audio of the tone, it will be the time it is supposed to be. As in non at present, but the future"
"In i twelvemonth it will be the nowadays "
"Next millennium, you'll be dead."
"You lot tin't bear upon MC Hammer."
"Computers don't piece of work after they break."
"Justin Bieber sucks."
Other famous statements
"Nah, duh." Captain Obvious is always adept at pointing out the obvious.
"Two wrongs don't make a right, only three lefts practice!"
"No thing how today turns out, in that location'south ever tomorrow."
"Simply considering yous can't see something doesn't mean you tin can't hear or olfactory property it."
"Dead people are not alive, you funny hat Homo."
"If something gets hard that means it won't exist easy anymore."
"If y'all hate someone that tin most likely indicate that you don't like them."
"The all-time cure for hunger is food!"
"When you're thirsty zilch feels amend than drinking liquid!"
"It's rude to fart when someones eating."
"Well, I say! These boots are made for walking."
"Flip-flops are for slobs!"
"I already said that quote!"
"Turning a pout upside downward makes a smiley face."
"God does exist!"
Captain Obvious' UnNews Career
Recently due to Stan Lee'southward company being screwed over by Bill Clinton and Hillary Clinton the Captain Obvious comic was canceled so Helm Obvious took up a career as News Anchor for the UnNews network:
- UnNews:AVG Antivirus detects Microsoft Windows as a Virus
- UnNews:The Real Economical Problem Revealed
- UnNews:Uncyclopedia to become $100 billion dollar bailout to become Domain Name Back
Come across also
- Captain Obvious Cereal
- John Madden
- Admiral Ackbar
- 1989 Zombie Invasion
- obnosis
| People named "Captain" | ||
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Source: https://uncyclopedia.com/wiki/Captain_Obvious
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